Leupagus

IT'S NOT A SWAN

Posts tagged yea

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A dramatic Shakespearean response to every situation

When something bad happens:
True is it that we have seen better days.
When something REALLY bad happens:
O woe! O woeful, woeful, woeful day! Most lamentable day. Most woeful day That ever, ever I did yet behold! O day, O day, O day! O hateful day! Never was seen so black a day as this.O woeful day! O woeful day!
When people say that something is wrong because the Bible says so:
The Devil can cite scripture for his purpose.
When my girlfriend abandons me for food:
FRAILTY, THY NAME IS WOMAN!
When someone doesn't thank me for holding the door open for them:
BLOW, BLOW, BLOW, THOU WINTER WIND! THOU ART NOT SO UNKIND AS MAN'S INGRATITUDE!
When I burn something while cooking:
MY CAKE IS DOUGH!
When human stupidity frustrates me:
LORD, WHAT FOOLS THESE MORTALS BE!
When someone says I'm going to hell for my sins:
NYMPH, IN THY ORISONS BE ALL MY SINS REMEMBER'D.
When I'm broke:
My pride fell with my fortunes
When someone turns the light on after a period of darkness and blinding light ensues:
OH, SHE DOTH TEACH THE TORCHES TO BURN BRIGHT!
When someone disagrees with me:
THERE ARE MORE THINGS IN HEAVEN AND EARTH, HORATIO, THEN ARE DREAMT OF IN YOUR PHILOSOPHY.
When I argue with my girlfriend:
The course of true love never did run smooth.
When I'm embarrassed:
MUST I HOLD A CANDLE TO MY SHAMES?!
Someone says "Good Night":
Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.

Filed under yea tis truth